Wow! so it took me a minute to get organized with all these new things I have to start doing such as meal planning, prep, etc. My first grocery shopping was much longer than my usual grocery shopping but I’ll talk more on that in another post. Now that I have some time to collect my thoughts I can bring you up to speed.
My first scheduled workout was Monday morning at 5:45am (which is much earlier than I usually get up) so my first hurdle was to drag myself out of bed and get ready. Once I did that my next task was to ensure that I had everything I was told to bring with me (indoor shoes, yoga mat, towel etc.). Once I was sure that I resembled someone that might belong in a gym, I hopped in the car and headed off down the highway. That ride was certainly a rollercoaster of nerves! I was excited and terrified at the same time. I was scared that my body would fail me and determined to push myself like I have never had before. I was nauseous due to my nerves (and my empty stomach as I found out later) and my heart felt like it was beating double time as I pulled into the parking lot. It was easier than I thought it would be to get out of the car and head up the stairs but once I entered the gym all that resolve melted away and I was left with shear nerves. Apparently, this was quite evident as Josh (trainer) took one look at me and asked: “Are you nervous?”. I knew I couldn’t hide it so I simply shook my head yes and he proceeded to tell me that I would be ok and just to work at my own pace.
Warm up’s started and within 3 minutes (I’m not joking here) of jogging on the spot and jumping jacks I was done! I was now even more terrified that I would never make it through this workout that was 60 min long and dedicated to finding my long lost (or possibly nonexistent) abs. I reminded myself that my health and new wardrobe were on the line here and I had to push push push.
The beginning of the core exercises were going fairly well considering, however around the halfway mark I started having a problem catching my breath. Josh came over to me to ask if everything was ok and this is what our conversation looked like:
Josh: “Do you have asthma?”
Josh: “Do you smoke?”
Me: “No, I quit almost 3 years ago”
Josh: “When was the last time you worked out?”
Me: *laughter* “Like this? Never!”
Josh: “Well that’s the problem, your lungs haven’t been strengthened to support a workout”
Turns out your lungs play a pretty important role in exercising and if they aren’t strong enough to continue to feed oxygen to your muscles then you can run into fatigue and shortness of breath. Once I rested for a minute and caught my breath, I continued on and by now we were on planks (and lots of them). The planks must have been the breaking point because suddenly everything that was in my stomach (which was really only water at that point) threatened to come up. Now I have heard of people who have worked out so hard that they have made themselves sick but I had never even come close to it myself. (Josh told me later that it was likely due to the fact that I didn’t eat breakfast and my stomach was empty) So here I was shaky, weak, out of breath, and about to be sick and we still had 15 minutes to go before cool down and stretching. I honestly thought about throwing in the towel right then and there but I didn’t want to be the only person in the class that couldn’t make it through. I excused myself to the bathroom, quickly splashed some cold water on my face, took a few deep breaths and then headed back to my mat to finish what I started. I was barely able to complete the class but I toughed it out and finished.
At the end of the workout, I got into my car and as I started to drive home tears came streaming down my face. I was so overcome with emotion (both good and bad) that I couldn’t control the sobbing. I was disappointed that I didn’t do as well as I had wanted to. I was embarrassed that I got out of breath. I was happy that it was over and I survived. I was even happier that I didn’t have to go the very next day lol. As I was driving down the highway I yelled out “I thought exercise was supposed to release endorphins and endorphins were supposed to make you happy?!?!?! Why the hell am I crying???”. By the time I got home, I was composed and I had a moment to really stop and think. The conclusion that I came to was this: no I couldn’t do all the exercises and no I didn’t do as well as I wanted BUT I damn sure did more than I did the day before! I pushed myself to the point that my body said “no more” and that was something that I had never done before. So I considered my first workout a win and continued on with the rest of my day knowing that I was so much stronger than I had previously thought and that I could do this!!